Time of Day: Evening
Journey: Library ---> Home
ipod: The shins
Situation: Clearly a victim of failed Nascar dreams, my bus driver barrels through the slick streets with the ferocity of a soon-to-be father driving his wife to hospital, however, there are, occasionally, funny little things called stop lights, that cause the bus to halt...very quickly.
Why it's annoying:
Every time Speedy McGee slams on his breaks to stop, everyone on the bus flies forward and some of them, namely me, slam their knees into the seat in front of them and then slam their spine into their own seat when he takes flight once again.
I'm pretty frail for a 26 year old and frankly my body can't handle this kind of abuse. Nor can the bodies of those brave souls attempting to exit the bus, who, upon standing, are whipped across the length of the bus.
I do want to get home, but I also want to be able to walk to my door once I get off the Japanese Bullet Train I've inadvertently boarded.
The Crabby Librarian
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
Guest Spot Two: The Professor Strikes Again
Time of Day: Morning
Journey: Home ---> School
ipod: Cindy Davis
Situation: The bus takes on a type of heat at is reminiscent of what I'd like to think hell might feel like.
Why it's annoying: Given the, once again, recent drop in temperature, most of us bundle up for the walk to/wait for the bus. Depending on the temperature, said outfit can include multiple sweaters, long johns, and many socks.
While one might be cozy and happy whilst waiting for the bus, getting on the overheated hellhole that is the transit commission is a sweaty nightmare. Fine. I get it. It's cold outside, and the bus is nice and toasty. Thank you for even turning the bus on.
BUT your judgment in temperature has a couple of problems: 1) I am uncomfortably hot in many layers and beginning to sweat. Sweating on the nice warm bus = freezing in the cold air when I exit.
2) I am not the only one who feels a little too warm...clearly the person beside me who is emanating the stench of body odor is having a similar problem except he/she does not believe in the radical new concept called "deodorant" [note: perhaps this should be a memo to people to shower before getting on the bus in the morning].
3) Heat makes me sleepy. In other news, students are back to skipping classes and I can sit again.
The Crabby Professor
Journey: Home ---> School
ipod: Cindy Davis
Situation: The bus takes on a type of heat at is reminiscent of what I'd like to think hell might feel like.
Why it's annoying: Given the, once again, recent drop in temperature, most of us bundle up for the walk to/wait for the bus. Depending on the temperature, said outfit can include multiple sweaters, long johns, and many socks.
While one might be cozy and happy whilst waiting for the bus, getting on the overheated hellhole that is the transit commission is a sweaty nightmare. Fine. I get it. It's cold outside, and the bus is nice and toasty. Thank you for even turning the bus on.
BUT your judgment in temperature has a couple of problems: 1) I am uncomfortably hot in many layers and beginning to sweat. Sweating on the nice warm bus = freezing in the cold air when I exit.
2) I am not the only one who feels a little too warm...clearly the person beside me who is emanating the stench of body odor is having a similar problem except he/she does not believe in the radical new concept called "deodorant" [note: perhaps this should be a memo to people to shower before getting on the bus in the morning].
3) Heat makes me sleepy. In other news, students are back to skipping classes and I can sit again.
The Crabby Professor
Thursday, January 17, 2008
Three
Time of Day: Afternoon
Journey: Library ---> Home
ipod: something from Rent!
Situation: The bus stops, passengers disembark, the bus driver closes the doors, and prepares to leave, stopping after merely achieving a one inch lurch away from the curve, because as soon as the doors closed, another passenger prematurely rang the bell, to signal the next stop. But the bus driver thinks he's missed letting someone off.
Why it's annoying:
This is a little thing, but it drives me batty. I want to take the offending passenger by the shoulders, look them squarely in the face and say in a clear, calm voice: Wait until he pulls away, jackass. When you ring the bell so quickly (you and all the other idiots that do this), the driver thinks someone has missed their stop. And in your eagerness to get off the bus at the Next stop, you have actually made the trip longer, while he stops, opens the doors, and waits, then calls to crowd "did someone want off?"
Imagine how much time we are wasting while you and your eager counterparts prematurely ring bells all over the damn city. Drives me batty!
The Crabby Librarian
Journey: Library ---> Home
ipod: something from Rent!
Situation: The bus stops, passengers disembark, the bus driver closes the doors, and prepares to leave, stopping after merely achieving a one inch lurch away from the curve, because as soon as the doors closed, another passenger prematurely rang the bell, to signal the next stop. But the bus driver thinks he's missed letting someone off.
Why it's annoying:
This is a little thing, but it drives me batty. I want to take the offending passenger by the shoulders, look them squarely in the face and say in a clear, calm voice: Wait until he pulls away, jackass. When you ring the bell so quickly (you and all the other idiots that do this), the driver thinks someone has missed their stop. And in your eagerness to get off the bus at the Next stop, you have actually made the trip longer, while he stops, opens the doors, and waits, then calls to crowd "did someone want off?"
Imagine how much time we are wasting while you and your eager counterparts prematurely ring bells all over the damn city. Drives me batty!
The Crabby Librarian
Monday, January 14, 2008
Guest Spot One: Professor O-Town
I'm not the only one who rides the bus...The Crabby Librarian proudly presents:
The Crabby Professor, MLIS
Preface
For students, the beginning of January means the return of classes, the renewing of friendships, and the general mirth of being able to get drunk Thursday, Friday, and Saturday night with their scantily-clad counterparts. Now, for those of us who work (albeit for the education system and operate on a similar schedule) January means the start of a new term and the beginning of the nauseating bus issues that we had hoped to have left behind in September.
So, I walk to the bus on a warm(ish) Wednesday morning (thank you global warming for making January feel like May) around 7am. I start teaching at 8am, so my behaviour is neither unusual nor out of sync from last term. As the bus comes ambling to a halt in front of me, I notice that it is unusually full. Thought #1: Crap. Thought #2: I have to get to work somehow, so I might as well suck it up. Thought #3: I now understand why Michelle hates riding the bus with the fiery passion of a thousand suns (Ed note: yep, it's about 1000) and thus the reason for this post. So I give you…
Time of Day: Too early in the morning
Journey: Home to Work
iPod: In Rainbows (Ed note: Nice choice, good bus music)
Situation: a) I am standing at the front of the overly crowded bus, an irate (and probably sleep deprived) bus driver is refusing to move the bus until people move back, and, of course, people refuse to move. Added to this, my bag is heavy and the bus is too hot. b) When getting off the bus, people who have been sitting shove me in an effort to quickly exit.
Why it’s annoying:
a) Move the F*$@ back! The bus driver means it when he says he’s not going anywhere (Ed note: damn right..unfortunately). When I can push you out of the way (yes…I was quickly losing patience) and navigate my way fairly successfully to the back of the bus where this is a crapload of room, you are clearly demonstrating that you are either stupid, lazy, or incapable to being mature enough to stand beside your peers so other people can get where they need to go too.
Few people *love* riding the bus. We’d all rather be driving for the most part, so suck it up, move it on back, and don’t make me angry. You wouldn’t like me when I’m angry.
The heavy bag I can’t do anything about, nor can I do anything about the heat, so I won’t complain about those.
b) You did not just spend the last 15-20minute standing, carrying your heavy bag (which, yes, I put down after awhile because the pain in my arm was greater than my revulsion at the dirty bus floor), so you are not allowed to get off the bus first. The ostensible reward for having to stand for so long means that I get to get off the bus first, away from your sleepy, dead eyes (Ed note: LOL!). So, when the bus stops at the final destination, do not attempt to stand; instead, move out of my way, and let me off the bus.
The lesson? Go back to skipping your classes (Ed note: amen!), so I can sit on the bus, have a nice ride to work, and be cheerful for my 8am class. Don’t put on pretensions that you’ll actually attend your classes for the duration of the term. Fourteen weeks is clearly too much for you to handle. Go back to sleep. We’ll all be happier for it.
The Crabby Professor, MLIS
The Crabby Professor, MLIS
Preface
For students, the beginning of January means the return of classes, the renewing of friendships, and the general mirth of being able to get drunk Thursday, Friday, and Saturday night with their scantily-clad counterparts. Now, for those of us who work (albeit for the education system and operate on a similar schedule) January means the start of a new term and the beginning of the nauseating bus issues that we had hoped to have left behind in September.
So, I walk to the bus on a warm(ish) Wednesday morning (thank you global warming for making January feel like May) around 7am. I start teaching at 8am, so my behaviour is neither unusual nor out of sync from last term. As the bus comes ambling to a halt in front of me, I notice that it is unusually full. Thought #1: Crap. Thought #2: I have to get to work somehow, so I might as well suck it up. Thought #3: I now understand why Michelle hates riding the bus with the fiery passion of a thousand suns (Ed note: yep, it's about 1000) and thus the reason for this post. So I give you…
Time of Day: Too early in the morning
Journey: Home to Work
iPod: In Rainbows (Ed note: Nice choice, good bus music)
Situation: a) I am standing at the front of the overly crowded bus, an irate (and probably sleep deprived) bus driver is refusing to move the bus until people move back, and, of course, people refuse to move. Added to this, my bag is heavy and the bus is too hot. b) When getting off the bus, people who have been sitting shove me in an effort to quickly exit.
Why it’s annoying:
a) Move the F*$@ back! The bus driver means it when he says he’s not going anywhere (Ed note: damn right..unfortunately). When I can push you out of the way (yes…I was quickly losing patience) and navigate my way fairly successfully to the back of the bus where this is a crapload of room, you are clearly demonstrating that you are either stupid, lazy, or incapable to being mature enough to stand beside your peers so other people can get where they need to go too.
Few people *love* riding the bus. We’d all rather be driving for the most part, so suck it up, move it on back, and don’t make me angry. You wouldn’t like me when I’m angry.
The heavy bag I can’t do anything about, nor can I do anything about the heat, so I won’t complain about those.
b) You did not just spend the last 15-20minute standing, carrying your heavy bag (which, yes, I put down after awhile because the pain in my arm was greater than my revulsion at the dirty bus floor), so you are not allowed to get off the bus first. The ostensible reward for having to stand for so long means that I get to get off the bus first, away from your sleepy, dead eyes (Ed note: LOL!). So, when the bus stops at the final destination, do not attempt to stand; instead, move out of my way, and let me off the bus.
The lesson? Go back to skipping your classes (Ed note: amen!), so I can sit on the bus, have a nice ride to work, and be cheerful for my 8am class. Don’t put on pretensions that you’ll actually attend your classes for the duration of the term. Fourteen weeks is clearly too much for you to handle. Go back to sleep. We’ll all be happier for it.
The Crabby Professor, MLIS
Friday, January 11, 2008
Classic Scene A
I have been asked to bring on the classics and I agree, this blog cannot exist without them, so here I present to you:
Disease on Public Transit: A Story
A female passenger boards my 1st bus, sits down and opens the window, this normally wouldn't be an odd occurrence, except that it's -10 outside...ah well, just a strange woman.
We both get off and proceed to the 2nd bus, the bus is beyond packed, I am up at the front pressed against the windshield, a few people get off at the next stop, we all move back a bit.
Stopped in front of an elderly lady sitting with her friend...the opinionated lady asks the older lady to please open the window above her head...the older woman says "oh goodness no! it's so cold!"
Opinionated lady says: "Can you just open it!"
Older Lady: "No! it's cold!"
Opinionated lady: "I don't want to get Tuberculosis...there are spores in the air, heat rises, this is a breeding ground, open the window!"
Older Lady: "If I open the window I will get sick from the cold draft...there are no spores on this bus!"
Opinionated lady: "I work at the hospital, you need to educate yourself..TB is back...we are going to get sick and die because of the germs on the bus!"
Older Lady: "Then why are you taking the bus! get off!"
Opinionated Lady: "I paid, this bus is fine, as long as we ventilate it...look at the steam up the windows! Put up your damn hood if you're cold! I paid my fare!"
Older Lady: "I should not have to bundle up on the bus..."
Opinionated Lady: "put up your f*$king hood...there are heaters...educate yourself!"
Bus driver: "Please don't swear, calm down ladies."
He stops, people get off and everyone moves back. Opinionated Lady stays put and opens the window directly above the Older Lady's head, at this point I have turned off my ipod so I can hear all the nitty gritty.
Older Lady: "You are going to freeze us all."
Opinionated Lady: " I have every right to open that window, I'm smarter and know more about this, look at SARS, remember SARS! It spread fast, TB is the same, I'm not getting sick on a bus because of you, you old bitty."
Older Lady: "You are very rude"
Lady beside older lady: "Yes, could you stop being so rude."
Student: "Yeah shut the f*$k up, there are other people on this bus!"
Opinionated Lady: "You're just an old fuddy duddy, I paid my fare! Educate yourself! Put up your fucking hood!!!" (getting rather maniacal)
Bus Driver: "Please stop the language, I don't know who is angry at whom, but you are making this trip bad for everyone..enjoy the ride..have some fun!" (Ed: I'm not kidding, he said that)
Opinionated Lady: "I work at the hospital, I know about spores, we were face to face, this old lady has a seat, you are lower down, germs and heat rise, everyone standing up is at risk!"
Older Lady: "don't take the bus!"
Opinionated Lady: "I will take the fucking bus!"
At this point there are shouts from the back of the bus, murmurs from the rest of the crowd, mostly siding with the old lady, the student starts in on the opinionated lady...and mercifully the bus makes one of its main stops, which is apparently where the spore free hospital is located.
Opinionated lady gets off the bus, and calls behind her: "have a nice day!"; the student (who might be my hero) closes the window and a cheer goes up from the crowd.
The passengers spend the remainder of the ride to the school discussing the pros and cons of spores vs cold.
The End.
ED: I may have coughed a little after the fact and made the girl beside me look Very nervous.
The Crabby Librarian
Disease on Public Transit: A Story
A female passenger boards my 1st bus, sits down and opens the window, this normally wouldn't be an odd occurrence, except that it's -10 outside...ah well, just a strange woman.
We both get off and proceed to the 2nd bus, the bus is beyond packed, I am up at the front pressed against the windshield, a few people get off at the next stop, we all move back a bit.
Stopped in front of an elderly lady sitting with her friend...the opinionated lady asks the older lady to please open the window above her head...the older woman says "oh goodness no! it's so cold!"
Opinionated lady says: "Can you just open it!"
Older Lady: "No! it's cold!"
Opinionated lady: "I don't want to get Tuberculosis...there are spores in the air, heat rises, this is a breeding ground, open the window!"
Older Lady: "If I open the window I will get sick from the cold draft...there are no spores on this bus!"
Opinionated lady: "I work at the hospital, you need to educate yourself..TB is back...we are going to get sick and die because of the germs on the bus!"
Older Lady: "Then why are you taking the bus! get off!"
Opinionated Lady: "I paid, this bus is fine, as long as we ventilate it...look at the steam up the windows! Put up your damn hood if you're cold! I paid my fare!"
Older Lady: "I should not have to bundle up on the bus..."
Opinionated Lady: "put up your f*$king hood...there are heaters...educate yourself!"
Bus driver: "Please don't swear, calm down ladies."
He stops, people get off and everyone moves back. Opinionated Lady stays put and opens the window directly above the Older Lady's head, at this point I have turned off my ipod so I can hear all the nitty gritty.
Older Lady: "You are going to freeze us all."
Opinionated Lady: " I have every right to open that window, I'm smarter and know more about this, look at SARS, remember SARS! It spread fast, TB is the same, I'm not getting sick on a bus because of you, you old bitty."
Older Lady: "You are very rude"
Lady beside older lady: "Yes, could you stop being so rude."
Student: "Yeah shut the f*$k up, there are other people on this bus!"
Opinionated Lady: "You're just an old fuddy duddy, I paid my fare! Educate yourself! Put up your fucking hood!!!" (getting rather maniacal)
Bus Driver: "Please stop the language, I don't know who is angry at whom, but you are making this trip bad for everyone..enjoy the ride..have some fun!" (Ed: I'm not kidding, he said that)
Opinionated Lady: "I work at the hospital, I know about spores, we were face to face, this old lady has a seat, you are lower down, germs and heat rise, everyone standing up is at risk!"
Older Lady: "don't take the bus!"
Opinionated Lady: "I will take the fucking bus!"
At this point there are shouts from the back of the bus, murmurs from the rest of the crowd, mostly siding with the old lady, the student starts in on the opinionated lady...and mercifully the bus makes one of its main stops, which is apparently where the spore free hospital is located.
Opinionated lady gets off the bus, and calls behind her: "have a nice day!"; the student (who might be my hero) closes the window and a cheer goes up from the crowd.
The passengers spend the remainder of the ride to the school discussing the pros and cons of spores vs cold.
The End.
ED: I may have coughed a little after the fact and made the girl beside me look Very nervous.
The Crabby Librarian
Tuesday, January 8, 2008
Two
Time of Day: Morning
Journey: Home ---> Library
ipod: Once Soundtrack
Situation: When I am standing directly beside the bus pole, with my pass in my hand and the bus pulls up directly in front of me, that is a sure signal, to cut me off and board the bus first.
Why it's annoying:
I had my pass out, you had to dig in your pocket for 2 min to find the correct change.
I could have been sitting the whole time you were looking.
The guy behind me Really wanted to get on the bus.
Tomorrow I'm going to stand on the edge of the curb.
The Crabby Librarian
Journey: Home ---> Library
ipod: Once Soundtrack
Situation: When I am standing directly beside the bus pole, with my pass in my hand and the bus pulls up directly in front of me, that is a sure signal, to cut me off and board the bus first.
Why it's annoying:
I had my pass out, you had to dig in your pocket for 2 min to find the correct change.
I could have been sitting the whole time you were looking.
The guy behind me Really wanted to get on the bus.
Tomorrow I'm going to stand on the edge of the curb.
The Crabby Librarian
Monday, January 7, 2008
One
Time of day: Evening
Journey: Library ---> Home
ipod: Dear Prudence
Situation: A youngish university student couple continually makes out, tickles each other and.....gauhhhh rubs...noses directly in front of my face.
Why it's annoying:
You are not cute, no one is amused.
There are much more appropriate places to do that kinda thing.
If I'm not making out on the bus, no one else gets to make out on the bus.
Rubbing...noses....really? Really!?!
The Crabby Librarian
Journey: Library ---> Home
ipod: Dear Prudence
Situation: A youngish university student couple continually makes out, tickles each other and.....gauhhhh rubs...noses directly in front of my face.
Why it's annoying:
You are not cute, no one is amused.
There are much more appropriate places to do that kinda thing.
If I'm not making out on the bus, no one else gets to make out on the bus.
Rubbing...noses....really? Really!?!
The Crabby Librarian
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